Ephesians 5:22-24 "The Principle of Submission" pt.3

Introduction:

Today is the last sermon on the principle of submission. And no, the end of this sermon is not the green light for husbands to straighten out their wives. Next Sunday we will be looking at a husbands love for his wife. So we are not done after today talking about marriage as it goes through verse 33.

Today our focus will be in verse 24 where we see the principle of submission actually being exemplified in Christ and the Church. Look back at your text to the first half of verse 24:

I. The Example (24a): “Now as the church submits to Christ,”

The relationship between Christ and the Church serves as the foundational example of submission for the wife in relation to her husband.

The Church is submits to Christ. God gave a people to the Son for Him to redeem and to reconcile to the Father. The Church is the body of Christ and Christ is her head as we saw back up in verse 23.

Remember we are joined to Christ in His death burial and resurrection. We have our identity and purpose in Him. This is why the Church submits to Christ and as the redeemed of God there is no fulfillment of purpose apart from obedience to Christ.

If the Holy Spirit has regenerated you then He lives in you. He guides you in all truth through the Scriptures coming to bear upon your life. No one does this perfectly in living the Christian life but as regenerated people there is a change in our disposition towards sin. And we are challenged and convicted of our need to strive for obedience to Christ in full reliance on His power and grace to progressively live that out.

Christ is perfect and He is our sovereign head. Christ doesn’t make mistakes, as He is sinless and therefore He is incapable of misleading us as the covenant people of God. Christ is always good and righteous and just in His dealings with the Church. He is full of mercy and grace and perfect in His expression of sacrificial love for the Church.

No one would ever think that Christ should submit to the Church. It would be a crazy idea to think that Christ should follow the leading of the Church. No one thinks that because Christ is supreme in His rule over all things and He has been exalted to the highest place and all things are under His feet. So it only makes sense that the Church would submit to Christ. This is foundational to the practice as the second half of verse 24 states:

II. The Practice (24b): “so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands”

Here we see that from the relational example between Christ and the Church there is a comparative application made in regards to the practice of submission in marriage. Wive sometimes believe that this would be an act of weakness and open them up to be vulnerable to a husbands demands. Usually I hear this concern from women who’s husbands are unbelievers. But 1 Peter 3:1-2 says “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”

This applies to a husband who is being disobedient to the word of God. Why is a wife’s respectful and pure conduct so powerful to bring conviction in the life of the husband? Because your life, wife reflects the word of God and the Holy Spirit uses it to convict the husband. This is not a wife attempting to manipulate her husband but to live in obedience to God and trust Him to change her husband.

Believing Woman married to a Mormon. “I know it is real because I can see the transformation in my wife.”

The practice in theory is easy to say, “so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands” but there is an obvious problem, Christ is perfect and earthly husbands are not.

And with this most of the men are probably thinking, Maybe the Apostle Paul could have gotten another example, something a little more reflective of the human condition so it could actually be attainable as a husband. Husbands, before you are ready to second guess the Scripture we need to be reminded that this is the calling for all of us as Christians.

Male or female all who are Bible believing Christians, if we are being sanctified then what are we being sanctified to if not the actions of Christ Himself. Reflecting Christ example and teaching is what all of us should be striving to live out as regenerated believers.

Wives before you are ready to negate the principle of submission because your husband is fallen and not perfect like Christ; and before you are tempted to reason that since my husband is not perfect then I don’t have to be submissive to him you may want to put the brakes on.

Reason being that the Apostle Paul is aware of the disparity between the holy perfection of Christ and the fallen nature of your sinful husband. The principle of submission doesn’t depend upon the supreme value and worth of your husband but upon the supreme value and worth of Christ.

Wives can often justify the lack of submission to their husbands based upon their husband’s failures. But that is a dangerous line of argumentation. A man may fail Christ in being a husband who exercises headship in reflection of Christ, but wife how do you fail Christ in being a wife who is submissive to Christ in living out obedience. As long as obedience is dependent upon your spouses behavior and actions it will never happen because all are fallen and sinful by nature on our best day. It takes a lot of grace and humility before Christ and one another to live out Biblical marriage.

Example of a couple (Husband stole money from his company).

Had a husband several years ago who came to me wanting me to talk to his wife because she would not submit to his spiritual leadership in his home. So he brought his wife to talk with me about it. He gave a few examples where he had tried to spiritually lead his family but his wife would push back and challenge his decisions.

The wife then gave many examples where he had made decisions that were sinful that revealed severe character flaws in her husband. The husband had been very dysfunctional and even emotionally abusive towards his wife and family. Which he admitted to and launched his own list of examples that reflected her character issues as well.

She even brought up that he had stolen money from his former employer. To which he added that at the time he was planning on just borrowing the money but in the end he changed jobs and never put the money back. When I asked her if she went along with it? She explained that “they had some financial issues and she was just trying to be the submissive wife.”

I replied, “that is very interesting.” She asked why it was interesting? To which I replied, “that she resist submission to her husband in spiritual matters but when it came to him taking money from the company he worked for she was fine with trying to be the submissive wife in that case.”

Now this brings up an important question regarding the second half of verse 24. Should wives submit in everything to their husbands? Should you submit to your husband if he wants you to steal for him or to kill for him or to be his accomplice in such things. What about other sinful activity? Is a wife responsible to submit to her husband when her husband is leading her into sin? And does the Apostle Paul really mean everything?

It is important to note that there is an Apostolic principle that all of us must keep in mind when it comes to submission to God established authorities within institutions. It is seen where Peter and John are ordered by the religious leaders in Jerusalem to not preach or teach in the name of Jesus and in Acts 4:19-20 But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.”

The Apostolic principle is that God and His word trumps all authority. We have an obligation to God above all else even if it means that we will suffer for it at the hands of men. When government or a husband or a parent demands sinful action they have crossed the line in rebellion to the supreme authority of God. As Christians we have the obligation to honor God.

But be careful here. You better make sure you are seeing it the way God does, not the way you want to see it and just use twisted theology to justify your rebellion. I have even seen husbands and wives use their own spouses sin as a means to justify their own sin before God. This is a key sign that they have no sense of their marriage being about the priority of Christ.

You may be completely exhausted of hope that your spouse will ever get with God’s plan of marriage. You both had the best of intentions. You were in love. She was your beautiful princes and He was your handsome prince. Everyone was so happy and joyous at the wedding. It was a special day, together till death do you part. And the honeymoon was so romantic and such a great time was had by both of you.

I was once at a wedding where they released doves at the end. I didn’t do the ceremony but the couple asked me to pray during the ceremony.

When the doves were released one flew away and the other turned back towards the church and flew head on into the side of the church and fell to the ground among the shrubs and laid there and quivered on the ground.

Maybe you feel like your marriage is like that. It seems it has hit the wall. It seems like your marriage is unfulfilling in your life to the point that you see no benefit to you. You may be thinking about your marriage all wrong. Maybe God has been using your marriage relationship with your spouse to put the deep areas of your sinful pride on display in order to confront you with what you like to pretend is not there in your relationship to him. Marriage by God’s design will challenge us in ways that will confront our accommodation with our sinful pride for both husbands and the wives.

And if sanctification is taking place at a level that is that deep there must be a deep saturation of grace in light of the gospel that will cause the love and mercy of God to govern the relationship. Because if that kind of grace saturation is not there conflict will be.

Pastor how do you know that?

Conclusion:

You don’t need a Phd in marriage counseling to know that. All you have to know is how the gospel works in our relationship with God. Unless grace saturates us in light of the gospel there will be conflict. Our imperfections don’t end the relationship that God has with us in and through Christ. Because it has been established upon the finished work of Christ on the Cross.

Christian we want that for our relationship with God but do we want it in our relationship with our spouse? We should if we are consistent in our Christian faith and submit ourselves to God’s plan for marriage.

Perhaps today is the day for a new start where we encounter God and one another again in light of the gospel of grace. For some it may be marriage issues for others it may be personal issues of sin that you are battling with. Come to God through Christ Christian and confess your sin and know He is faithful.

Unbeliever you need a relationship with God through Jesus Christ alone for salvation. Believe the gospel! Let’s Pray!